What to Expect When You Call

Making the decision to reach out for help can be one of the most courageous steps a survivor takes. If you're considering calling a domestic violence hotline, it's natural to feel a mix of emotions – fear, hope, uncertainty, or even just exhaustion. We want you to know what to expect, so you can feel a little more prepared and empowered when you make that call.

First and foremost, know this: When you call a domestic violence hotline, you are in control.

This is a space created for you, where your safety and well-being are the absolute priority. The people on the other end of the line are trained professionals and advocates who understand the complexities of abuse. They are there to listen without judgment, offer support, and help you explore options that feel right for you.

What Happens When You Call?

1. A Safe, Confidential Space to Connect: The call will typically begin with making sure you are safe to continue the call. Our staff understand that even making the call can be risky, and they prioritize your privacy and safety. You don't have to give your name or any identifying information if you don't feel safe doing so.

2. They Will Listen, Truly Listen: You might have a lot on your mind, or you might not know where to start. That's perfectly okay. The advocate will create a calm, patient space for you to share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. There's no pressure to tell your entire story at once. They understand that trauma can make it difficult to articulate experiences, and they will follow your lead.

3. Validation and Empathy: You might hear phrases like, "That sounds incredibly difficult," or "It makes sense that you feel that way." This can be incredibly powerful, especially if your experiences have been minimized or denied by others. They understand that abuse is never your fault.

4. Exploring Your Needs and Options (Without Pressure): Once you've had a chance to share, the advocate will gently guide the conversation toward what you might need. This isn't about telling you what to do; it's about exploring possibilities. They might ask:

   • "What are your most immediate concerns right now?"

   • "Are you safe at this moment?"

   • "What kind of support are you looking for?"

   They can discuss various options, which might include:

   • Safety Planning: This is a crucial aspect, helping you think through steps to increase your safety, whether you plan to stay, leave, or are unsure. This includes digital safety planning, considering safe places to go, and how to communicate safely.

   • Emotional Support: Sometimes, just talking to someone who understands is what's needed most.

   • Local Resources: They can connect you with local shelters, support groups, legal aid, counseling services, and other community resources in your area.

   • Understanding Abuse: They can provide information about the dynamics of domestic violence, helping you understand that what you're experiencing is a pattern of control and not a reflection of your worth.

5. No Obligation, Just Support: You are never obligated to take any action discussed during the call. The decision to pursue any option, or none at all, is entirely yours. The hotline is a place for information and support, not coercion. You can hang up at any time, or call back whenever you're ready.

Why Call?

Calling a hotline can be a lifeline. It offers:

• A confidential sounding board: A place to process your thoughts and feelings without judgment.

• Access to vital resources: Connections to services that can provide practical help.

• Validation and understanding: A reminder that you are not alone and what you're experiencing is real.

• Empowerment: Taking control by seeking information and support on your own terms.

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Remember, reaching out is a sign of incredible strength. The advocates on the other end of the line are ready to meet you where you are, with compassion and respect.

If you or someone you know needs support, please don't hesitate to call us at 618-235-0892 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or text START to 88788. 

You deserve safety, respect, and a life free from abuse.