It Didn’t End When I Left: Understanding Trauma After Domestic Violence

When someone escapes an abusive relationship, many expect the worst to be over. But for survivors like Maya*, the emotional aftermath can be even more disorienting. Free from the abuse, she was no longer living in fear of physical harm—but her body hadn’t gotten the message. She startled at every loud sound, couldn’t sleep through the night, and often felt a heavy fog of sadness she couldn’t explain. 

This is the reality for many survivors of domestic violence. The trauma doesn’t disappear the day they leave. Instead, it often shows up in the form of PTSD, panic attacks, anxiety, or depression. These are normal responses to prolonged fear and harm. 

According to the Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence, emotional and psychological symptoms are among the most common and most misunderstood effects of abuse. Survivors may experience hypervigilance, nightmares, flashbacks, difficulty concentrating, numbness, or an intense fear of being triggered. None of these reactions are signs of weakness—they are the brain and body’s way of coping after trauma. 

One survivor shared: “I expected to feel relief when I left. Instead, I couldn’t stop crying, even when nothing was wrong. It made me feel like I was failing at freedom. But what I was really experiencing was trauma resurfacing.” 

The Violence Prevention Center supports survivors through every phase of this healing journey. From 24/7 emergency shelter to counseling and support groups, VPC provides safe, trauma-informed care to help survivors regain their footing after abuse. Because healing doesn’t happen in a straight line. And it doesn’t happen alone. 

What Trauma Can Look Like After Abuse 

• Panic attacks out of nowhere 

• Feeling numb or disconnected from reality 

• Overreacting to conflict or shutting down emotionally 

• Trouble sleeping, even in safety 

• Exhaustion with no clear cause 

• Avoidance of people, places, or memories 

  
  

If any of these sound familiar, know this: you’re not broken. You’re healing. 

Survivors often carry shame for how trauma lingers. But the truth is, healing takes time, patience, and support. And no one should have to figure it out alone. 

If You Need Help 

Whether you’re newly out or years removed from the abuse, support is available. VPC offers: 

• Free, confidential counseling with trauma-informed advocates 

• Weekly support groups for survivors 

• 24/7 hotline at 618-235-0892 

  
  

You can also call the Illinois Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-877-863-6338 for statewide services. 

Want to help others on their healing journey? Donate today to support free mental health services at VPCSWI.org. Your gift ensures that survivors can access the care they deserve—for as long as it takes. 

*Name changed to protect privacy.