Teen Dating Violence Is More Common Than You Think — And More Preventable Than We Realize

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM), a time dedicated to shining a light on an issue that too often hides in plain sight.

When people hear “dating violence,” they often imagine adults in long-term relationships. But the reality is that unhealthy and abusive dynamics frequently begin much earlier. For many survivors, the first experience of control, manipulation, or harm happens during adolescence.

According to national data, nearly 1 in 3 teens in the United States experiences some form of dating abuse. This can include emotional manipulation, digital harassment, sexual coercion, physical harm, or controlling behaviors that are mistakenly framed as “love” or “protectiveness.”

Teen dating violence does not always look dramatic. In fact, it often looks subtle.

It can look like:

• A partner constantly checking a phone or demanding passwords

• Isolation from friends or pressure to choose the relationship over other relationships

• Guilt used as a weapon: If you loved me, you would…

• Threats to harm themselves if the relationship ends

• Sexual pressure framed as obligation

• Monitoring social media, location, or communication

  
  

Because teens are still forming their understanding of love, boundaries, and identity, these behaviors can be especially confusing. Many young people do not label these experiences as abuse. They simply feel anxious, trapped, or unsure of themselves.

Why Awareness Matters

Teen dating violence is not just a “phase” or a learning curve. It can have long-lasting effects on mental health, self-worth, academic performance, and future relationships.

At the same time, adolescence is one of the most powerful windows for prevention.

When teens are given language for boundaries, consent, and healthy relationships early on, they are far more likely to recognize red flags and seek help. Awareness does not plant ideas. It provides protection.

What Healthy Relationships Actually Look Like

Healthy teen relationships are not perfect, but they are grounded in:

• Mutual respect

• Trust without surveillance

• Freedom to maintain friendships and interests

• Clear, respected boundaries

• Accountability when harm happens

• Consent that is enthusiastic and ongoing

  
  

These are skills that can be taught, practiced, and modeled.

How Adults Can Help

Parents, caregivers, educators, coaches, and trusted adults play a critical role in prevention. Teens are far more likely to open up when they believe they will be listened to without judgment or panic.

Helpful starting points include:

• Talking early and often about relationships, not just sex

• Asking open-ended questions rather than interrogating

• Naming unhealthy behaviors clearly, even when they seem “small”

• Letting teens know help is available even if they are not ready to leave a relationship

  
  

You Are Not Alone

If you are a teen experiencing dating violence, or if you are worried about someone you care about, help is available. You deserve relationships that feel safe, respectful, and affirming.

At the Violence Prevention Center of Southwestern Illinois, we provide confidential support, education, and advocacy for survivors of all ages. We believe that prevention begins with honest conversations and access to safe support.

If you or someone you know needs help, our 24/7 crisis line is available at 618-235-0892.

This Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, let’s move beyond awareness alone and commit to building a culture where young people are empowered to recognize healthy love and know they deserve it.