When Digital Safety Isn’t Enough: Recognizing and Responding to Digital Abuse

Earlier this month, we shared ways to prioritize your digital safety—practical steps like updating passwords, checking devices, and protecting your accounts. Those are important first steps toward taking control of your online world.

But what happens when the issue goes deeper than privacy? What happens when technology isn’t just being used carelessly—but as a weapon of control? This is when digital abuse enters the picture.

What Is Digital Abuse?

Digital abuse happens when an abuser uses technology to harass, monitor, intimidate, or control their partner. It’s not about a lost password or an account glitch—it’s about power.

Some examples include:

• Forcing you to share your passwords or unlock your phone.

• Tracking your location without your consent.

• Flooding you with calls, texts, or messages when you can’t respond.

• Monitoring your social media activity or controlling who you interact with online.

• Threatening to share private photos or information.

These actions might not leave physical marks, but the emotional toll can be devastating. Digital abuse is a form of domestic violence, and it often escalates alongside other types of abuse.

Warning Signs to Watch For

How do you know if what you’re experiencing is digital abuse? Look for these red flags:

• Your partner always knows where you are—even when you haven’t shared your location.

• You’re locked out of your own accounts, or passwords keep changing without your consent.

• Your phone acts strangely (battery drains fast, runs hot, or glitches)—which could signal spyware.

• You feel pressured to post certain things or to share private messages and photos.

• You’re threatened with exposure of personal content if you don’t comply with demands.

If any of these sound familiar, you’re not being “too sensitive.” These behaviors are about control, not love.

First Steps: Build on Digital Safety Basics

Start with the tips from our last post—strong passwords, privacy settings, safe devices—and then take it further:

• Document the abuse. Take screenshots, save messages, and keep a record of patterns.

• Secure your evidence. If you plan to seek help, store copies safely (email to a trusted friend, or use an external device).

• Review your connections. Log out of shared Wi-Fi, disable Bluetooth, and turn off location services where possible.

• Create a code word. Share it with a trusted friend or family member so you can signal if you need immediate help.

  
  

When You’re Ready to Take Action

You don’t have to do this alone. Here are ways to move forward safely:

• Reach out for support. Call our 24/7 hotline at 618-235-0892 for confidential help.

• Explore legal protections. Orders of Protection can cover digital abuse—especially when threats or harassment are involved.

• Get tech help. In severe cases, a trusted tech-savvy friend or a professional can help check your device for spyware and restore security.

  
  

You’re Not Alone

If your phone feels like a prison or every notification brings fear, it’s not your fault. You deserve privacy, safety, and freedom—online and offline. Every step you take to reclaim your digital world is a step toward reclaiming your life.

If you’re ready to talk, we’re here 24/7 at 618-235-0892.